Leslie Jones made a tragic announcement throughout ‘Weekend Replace’ on ‘Saturday Night Live’: She’s retiring from sex.
In Saturday’s news segment of the NBC late-night comedy show, the engaging, greatly entertaining Jones, who has talked about her sex life during past “Update” appearances, tells co-anchor Colin Jost she’s “throwing in the towel” because no one wants her at the age of 51.
(Of course, she uses her announcement to see if Jost, her “Update” crush, is game: “Do you want to have sex with an old (woman), Colin? … You sexy, full-headed, Old Navy-wearing millennial.”)
Jones, wearing a white t-shirt with the red-circle-slash prohibition sign over the word “sex,” confesses that when she was younger, “I had a signature sex move, a move that worked no matter what. Now, I don’t wish to reveal my trade secrets but let’s just say it involved the knees. A lot,” she explains, likely perking viewer interest since that’s not a part of the body that’s generally high on the list of erogenous zones.
“Might be the reason I tore my meniscus. And now, since my knee is messed up, I can’t do my move no more, Colin,” she complains.
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Jones, a drive of nature at her highest with a complete head of steam (one would by no means describe her as retiring), is going into overdrive explaining the romantic dilemma of center age.
“Who am I intended to even date? A man in his 60s who most likely would possibly die on best of me? Or date a man in his 20s, so I am a kid molester now? I’ve to position out milk and cookies and a PlayStation to have intercourse? No!!! My intercourse days is over!”
Jost tries to raise her spirits: “I believe you are gorgeous, proficient and humorous.”
“Lies!” Jones replies, however she’s prepared to listen to extra.
“Any guy on this studio would like to have you ever,” he continues.
“Close up,” a flattered Jones responds.
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Colin Jost, left, and Michael Che are co-anchors of “Weekend Replace” on “Saturday Evening Are living.” (Picture: WILL HEATH/NBC)
“And, nobody in their 50s seems to be as excellent as you do,” Jost finishes, however that is one praise too a long way for his incredulous co-anchor, Michael Che.
Che mentions Halle Berry, who is 52. Jones leaps from her chair to assault, however Jost holds her again. Then Che throws out the identify of Jennifer Lopez, who is simply 50s-adjacent at 49. She will get angrier. He closes with Pass judgement on Judy, who is 76 and a drive of nature herself.
Jost has another doubtlessly mollifying factoid. “Leslie, I learn that your sexual height in fact begins at age 54, OK? … So, you will have a large number of nice intercourse years forward of you.”
“Is that proper?” she asks, brightening up because the “Rocky” anthem starts to play. She rips the pink slash bar from her t-shirt and screams: “I am again!!!”
Mark that down as an overly brief retirement. Unhappy information turns to excellent information.
Learn or Proportion this tale: https://www.usatoday.com/tale/existence/television/2018/12/02/leslie-jones-retires-sex-during-snl-weekend-update/2182545002/